That was the beginning of the end for loving and respecting Google as an employer.

On January 20, a Google employee had to call tech support when they tried to log in to their work system.

Another employee’s manager was on vacation, so they had no one to reach out to when rumors of layoffs started to swirl. A third was waking up to demands from their toddler when their phone started buzzing with text messages asking “Are you safe?” The three employees spoke with CNN on condition of anonymity because they did not want their names or faces associated with the company’s decision.

Though the extent of the layoffs was staggering, and by far the largest cuts in its history, many inside and outside the company saw them as a dark day for the tech giant–even more so because it happened without warning or explanation from leadership.